"Wanted To Leave As...": Ashwin Ends Silence On Abrupt Retirement In Aus

Ravichandran Ashwin stunned the cricket world after the third India vs Australia Test in Brisbane as he announced his retirement from international cricket. Being the highest wicket-taker among active bowlers with 537 scalps, many expected Ashwin, 38, to continue for some more time. However, he retired with two Tests left in the ongoing Border Gavaskar Trophy. The timing of his retirement was questioned by greats like Sunil Gavaskar. Ashwin was used on only one of the first three Tests in the Border Gavaskar Trophy. India captain Rohit Sharma latest said: "It just happened so that if you know where he felt that, 'if I'm not needed right now in the series, I'm better off." 

Now, Ashwin has broken a long silence on the reason behind his retirement.

"I've never been a person who holds onto things, I've never felt insecure in life," he said on Sky Sports. "I don't believe what is mine today is going to be mine tomorrow. That has probably been one of my elevating factors all these years.

"I always wanted to leave things behind as nonchalantly as I can because I do not believe in people celebrating me, I don't believe in the attention we get sometimes in India. It is the game that always stood ahead of me, all the time.

"I did contemplate [retirement] a few times. For me, the day I woke up and felt the creative side of me didn't have a future or direction, that would be the day I would give it up. I suddenly felt that creative side didn't have a lot of upsides to explore."

Ashwin also revealed how passion for the game gave meaning to his life. "I just gave it my all, despite knowing it's not the popular or accepted method," he said. "My journey is completely mine.

"I've seen a lot of cricketers over the years with exceptional skill and talent, but the ability to articulate or teach another person about it is something that is very unique and comes across to people only if they have explored it themselves.

"The amount of exploration I have had to do to be very successful has left me with a wide variety of knowledge to be able to say, with confidence, that this is a game I love and can explore and brutally talk about for the rest of my life.

"I've got no regrets because I've had to do it the hard way, but it has left me with the idea that the game has been my calling. People find their calling at different stages of their life but I'm so glad this game found me and it has given me meaning to life.

"I've played Test cricket for so long it's even taught me how to construct and live my life. It's the most beautiful thing that has happened for me."